


Life Of Duty

by JenSpinner



Series: The New World [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angry Dean Winchester, Angry Kissing, Angry Sex, Arguing, Cannibalism, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Inventions and Science, M/M, Strained Friendships, Technology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 00:43:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15961064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/pseuds/JenSpinner
Summary: The third and final part of The New World Series...Sorry - No clues, if you've made it this far - I thank you <3





	1. Bravery

Dean's face burned with tears and he sniffed in harshly as he patted down the freshly disturbed ground. Fifteen graves. Three burnt-out huts, including the royal hut, one dead horse and many, many people burnt as they had rushed to put out the fires. People were crying, fights broke out in the confusion, free folk blaming the base group... Families that had recently lost alphas too, were talking about leaving... It was chaos. 

And through it all, Dean hadn't been able to get rid of the image of those dead blue eyes looking up at him... 

***

Fifty Years Earlier

The first smack struck him across the face, surprising him. He felt the sting of it as he touched his own fingers to his reddening cheek.

"It was an accident" He protested 

"I don't care, you spill a week's worth of milk... you get punished, boy" Another slap landed on the other side of his face, sending burning tears rolling down his skin as his eyes watered. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" He repeated desperately "Dad, stop. Please" 

"Shut up, Fergus" Smack "Take it like a fucking man" 

He'd been four years old when his father had first hit him. Open palmed against his butt, it hadn't hurt too badly, it hadn't left a mark... But as time went on, the smacking moved from his butt to his face and then changed from slaps to punches... His father beat him black and blue for the slightest thing. And he swore... When he got older, he'd never be defenseless again, he'd find a way, a hundred ways to protect himself... 

His father died. But he never got over his need for security and at only twenty-five years old. He began his experiments, taking half of the batch of 'Angels' eggs down into the pit. A disused area since all the animals that had been kept there had been eaten. Over the next thirty years, he and several helpers and a shift of 'babysitters' had raised the 'little demons', he'd created the serums to make them strong. He'd trained them in combat, he'd fed and clothed them and they were 'his boys'. He protected them from the politics of the general population, he protected them from the public eye... Unlike the angels who lived like goldfish, the demons lived out of the spotlight. His new family. 

*** 

Ten Minutes Before The Bomb

"Who are you?" Asks Castiel looking at the man before him with mistrust. 

"I am the man who helped attach your new leg, the man who helped Dean find the parts to make it and the one who used the technology Dean invented to create a very dangerous... soldier..."

"You created a soldier?" Asked Castiel skeptically 

"Yes, he is deadly. Strong. Fast. His brain is a computer, calculating, problem-solving... and... he escaped. He was programmed to kill the free folk... You're the King of the free folk... but something must have gone wrong, he..." Crowley can taste the bile rising as he speaks "He killed everyone, at the base"  

Castiel stared at him for a long moment, face quivering slightly before he finally spoke, with the hint of fury in his tone "Of course, I mean... Why not the fuck not? We just got rid of Naomi, the worse person... ever. Now we have a robotic killing machine running around. How did you even build such a man?" 

"Dean's technology was... unrivaled. I simply needed an empty vessel to test the power of it..." Said Crowley not meeting Castiel's eyes. 

"An empty vessel?" 

"Yes" 

"And where would you find 'an empty vessel'" Asked Castiel frowning "What the hell does that even mean?" 

"One became available" 

"WHO? What aren't you saying?" Asked Castiel getting angry... 

At that moment Mick ran into the royal hut, not bothering to knock, his expression - frantic "Sir... You need to come with me" 

Castiel and Crowley both looked up "What is it?" Asked Castiel sounding worried.

"Balthazar," Said Mick, the look on his face sent an icy chill through Castiel's very core. 

"Where?" He said and he and Crowley followed Mick from the hut and into the woods. Right to the spot where Balthazar had died, his face pale, the bruising marks on his necks telling them instantly, he was murdered. 

Castiel crumpled at the sight of his friend, dead on the ground. He couldn't cry, he just felt the cold numb ache of loss "Balthazar..." 

"It's him..." Said Crowley looking about him, eyes darting to and fro "He's here - we need to warn, everyone" 

***

Now 

"Kiss me..."

Dean wiped his eyes and leaned over, planting a soft kiss on those plump lips. As he leaned back up he frowned at the triumphant grin spreading over the face of the man in front of him, blood mingled in his smile but somehow, he looked pleased. 

"I knew I'd get you to kiss me again" The man breathed out, looking pained "Even if I know you would choose Castiel"   

"Ji..." Said Dean his eyes widening "Jimmy?"

Jimmy coughed out a small laugh "It's alright, Dean. You don't owe me anything... I knew, I always knew... You loved Cas"

"Fuck... No, this isn't happening" Dean's eyes flooded with tears... His friend was dying... "Oh fuck, no, no, no... You can't..." He can't lose Jimmy, he can't. Why did this happen? How? Who the fuck was that hooded figure? He looks about him... but can only see burning buildings and people running in different directions collecting water and helping other injured people, the hooded figure is gone... He wonders momentarily where Castiel is... Was he in his hut? He looks over to the burning remains of the royal hut.

"It's alright... " Jimmy coughing again, a few drops of blood landing on his lips "You know what you want now, go get him..."

"I'm not leaving you, Jimmy," Said Dean squeezing his friend's hand "I'm not going anywhere" Dean shift on his knees and rested Jimmy's head in his lap, looking down over him sadly, a tear rolling down his face. 

"Hey..." Said Jimmy, his speech becoming much quieter and slower "I got one last kiss from the infamous Dean Winchester... I'm gonna die happy"

"Just hold on, okay" Dean's tears ran down his face and into the cracks of the smile he gave his friend, a joker right to the very end... Dean looked into Jimmy's eyes and said softly... "You are the best friend I've ever had Jimmy"

Jimmy's smile, was soft and genuine as his face paled, his breathing slowed right down... finally stopping as his eyes glazed over still open, still looking into Dean's. Gone. 

Dean's eyes closed and the tears that had built up there ran freely down his face, falling on to Jimmy's head that he still cradled in his arms... His breathing was shaky and he didn't move until Benny and Ketch found him... 

Both speechless as they looked down at their dead friend... 

 

***

"Him who?" Demanded Castiel. Whoever this fucker was, they had killed Balthazar... He wouldn't stop until he found them and torn them limb from limb until nothing remained of them but the ash from their smoldering corpse... He would hunt them to the end of the fucking earth if he had to... 

Crowley looked at Castiel guiltily "I believe you knew him, as Gabriel"  


	2. Gone, but not Gone.

Light. Light and blurred shapes. That was all Gabriel could see when he opened his eyes. He didn't know where he was, he didn't know who he was... he didn't know what he was. He could feel something fill someplace inside of him and his chest rose and fell with it. He could hear something, he didn't know what it was... it sounded as though the soft noise was coming from him, each time his chest fell... He closed his eyes and fell back into the darkness

*

"-Hear me? Gabriel?" A soft voice, a feminine voice. Bringing him back to the world. He opened his eyes. Light flooded in and he squinted against the glare

"There you are, I'm Meg, do you remember me?" The brown-haired woman leaning over him smiled at him, but then he felt something in his arm, a sharp stabbing sensation... And he made a muffled sound of pain...

He tried to move, to get away from the pain. But he was cuffed to the bed. Hands and ankles restrained with softly padded cuffs, and a strap fastening him down across his stomach... He panicked. Not really yelling, but making that same muffled noise of fear and tugging his wrists, trying to free himself

"It's alright, it's alright... Just some anti-biotics" The woman sounded calm, somehow that helped him calm... He stilled, eyes wide and watched her. She was incredibly slow, patient and tender with him, always speaking softly, even if he didn't understand most of her words, he picked up by her manner that she was not there to hurt him, she was not a threat.

"I'm so, so sorry Gabriel" She was saying, "Crowley thinks this might help you, I don't know if... I don't think it will work, I don't think we'll ever get - you back. But... after everything you've done, I support his decision to try... I don't know exactly what he has planned for you... I'm sorry..."

Gabriel sighed, just letting the soft voice calm him, he was alright, he was safe...

The door behind the woman opened... And a second person walked in.

"How's he doing?" Crowley asked, quietly.

"He's calmer," Said Meg eyes looking watery "His vitals are stable... As long as we keep up the antibiotics so he doesn't get an infection, he should be alright"

"He'll be better when we load the first programme into him, he won't be so confused"

*

"What the hell have you done to him?" Cried out Meg as she helped Crowley to his feet

"Made a few altercations, given him some body armor"

Meg shook her head "He isn't getting better, he isn't even a 'he' anymore, he's an 'it'... You've turned him to..."

"A soldier," Crowley clicked the first lock into place on the cage door... Grimacing at the pain in his shoulder, from where Gabriel had flung him across the room at the sight of another needle... 

"You should destroy..." Meg frowned, "It"

"You heard what the boys said, right? They are raping our people... Do you really want me to destroy, him?" Said Crowley

"It... could have killed you," Said Meg shaking her head "You have no control Crowley, it's dangerous"

"I will have, I can still make this work... I can fix him" Said Crowley... Ignoring the loud metallic sounding banging coming from the cage...

"He lifted you as though you weigh nothing"

"I know, magnificent isn't he?"

Meg shook her head "Gabriel, the real Gabriel, who gave himself over in an honorable sacrifice - was magnificent... That in there... Is more machine, than man"

***

Before The Vow To Capo Test

Jimmy had thought long and hard about Dean's words...

_"Look, he is your brother, you were excited to meet him, remember? Things are screwed up, I get that... But. I'd give anything for a chance to speak to my brother again... You should try and make your peace with him, you know?"_

Despite the fact that Castiel was about to force the man that Jimmy cared for, maybe... loved... into marrying him, he was still his brother, and Dean was right, before all this shit he had wanted to meet him, get to know him... Maybe he should speak to him again... Without it being about Dean...

He entered the royal hut without bothering to knock, Castiel might be a 'King' but he wasn't about to start bowing to anyone... He cleared his throat to announce himself

"You need better guards" He mused

"So it would seem" Castiel agreed and clearly sensing a second attack he added "I've given him a choice, Dean that is..."

"Fuck. Look... Forget Dean for a minute... This is about you and me. About what I said to you... I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have come in here and attacked you the way I did. I shouldn't have threatened you, I just..."

"You love him," Said Castiel nodding shallowly "I understand and you weren't wrong. I did take away his choices and I manipulated him to get the answer I wanted... But and this isn't an excuse - but rather me trying to explain why I behaved the way I did... I have never, ever been selfish like this before. I always put everyone else's needs and safety before my own and this was my one time..." Castiel reaches out with on hand to show what he means and grips it into a tight fist "Taking hold of something I wanted and trying to keep it. But it was wrong, I think I justified it in my head that it was helping everyone else because it ended the war. Everyone would win... There would be peace between the groups, Dean would get to kill Gordon, I would get Dean..."

"I know!" Jimmy cut in "That's one of the things that pissed me off the most... Everyone else seemed to get something, only I lost something... Something I've never had before. I know I don't own Dean... But the feelings I experience when I am with him... I have never felt that way about anyone before. You let him go, and I know you had to... But you let him go. Then I started to... feel things for him... And then you took him back..."

Castiel smiled "Could call it classic sibling rivalry..."

"I am sorry I threatened you"

"I am sorry I did what I did. I didn't know about you. I can't take it back, as such... But, I have given Dean a choice"

"What is it?" Asked Jimmy carefully

Castiel sighed "Me, or you"

"Oh" Jimmy looked down at the ground, he had a feeling that Castiel thought much like he did, that Dean would choose the other, but Jimmy felt sure he was right. Dean would marry his brother... And Jimmy would have to learn to live with it... Or leave "One more thing..."

Castiel looked at Jimmy "Yes?"

"If Dean looks like he's in trouble, during this fight... I'm going to take Gordan out myself" Said Jimmy defiantly, as though he expected Castiel to argue "I'll shoot him"

Castiel nodded "Good"

 


	3. Bring On The Thunder

_"Yeah, we just handed ourselves back to a group of people who are going to be prodding and poking at us and testing shit on us until they find a way to help themselves... We aren't people to them, we're fucking experiments - I'm sick of it"_

Gabriel's words played over and over in Castiel's mind a million times a second... and he felt sick. His head was tilted forward slightly as though he'd be looking down, but his eyes were glaring forward at Crowley... 

"Gabriel?" He repeated, as though Crowley's very life depended on his answer... But before Crowley could answer, the sound of an explosion distracted them... 

"That came from camp," Said Mick looking around the three men saw the cloud of smoke and the flames lick up into the sky above the camp... 

Castiel turned to Crowley, gripping him by his shirt collar and pulling him in, in a threatening manner "You did this... Balthazar... Is dead, because of you. Whoever is hurt at camp... That's your fault..." He pulled his blade from his belt and held it to Crowley's throat "I should fucking end you, right now"

The blade was millimeters away from Crowley's throat - Balthazar was dead - Gabriel was... Well, who knows what? And the camp was burning... Castiel wanted to end Crowley, this was all his fault. 

"Castiel!" A sharp voice, almost like a mothers voice when catching her child doing something they shouldn't be doing makes him look up... 

"Meg?"  

Meg looked from Castiel to Crowley... The knife held against Crowley's neck, then to the thick black smoke in the distance... 

"What is going on here?" 

Castiel points the knife wildly at her but keeps his hold on Crowley...  "You told me... you said, he was gone. You said..." 

Meg looks at Castiel "Gabriel, did this?" 

Castiel glares at her, clenching his teeth "You... lied to me..." 

"I never said he died," Said Meg defensively "He was, is gone" 

"Then how the hell do you explain him walking around and killing people!?" Spat Castiel furiously 

"Unless the Gabriel you remember was capable of this, he is gone... His brain died. He was kept alive by a machine, Crowley..." Meg looked at Crowley 

"After Gabriel's brain tissue was harvested to make the cure... I administer several injections of my X-Cel serum. The hope... Was that it would heal his brain... But after a few weeks, there had been no improvement" 

"Which is when you should have turned the machine off and let him die with dignity," Said Castiel angrily slapping the knife against Crowley's throat again 

Crowley flinched against the cold metal slightly but finding his voice again "Dean's technology was just sitting there, on Level Six... I gave in to temptation, I thought I could create the perfect soldier... I failed" Crowley looked sadly at Castiel "If I knew then, what I know now... I would take it back, I never meant for this to happen..." 

"Yes, you did" Spat Castiel "You wanted him to kill people... Well, you got your wish" 

"I..." 

Castiel clenched his jaw looking down on Crowley with such a quaking look of fury on his face that Crowley fell silent "You did this. Gabriel... The man who sacrificed himself for the people of the base will now be known as a monster who came back and slaughtered the very people he was trying to help... and... his own friend! You violated his sacrifice. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just have you killed right now?" 

"He's a doctor..." Said Meg, looking sadly at Castiel "Your camp is on fire, there are bound to be injured people... Do you really want to kill a man who could help them? Besides... No one knows more about Gabriel than Crowley... One way or another... You're going to have to stop him..."  

Castiel looked at Meg, then at Crowley... How easy it would be to slice his throat and watch him bleed out... Easy, but stupid. Meg was right, they needed him. Castiel lowered the blade and both Meg and Crowley looked relieved. 

Pointing the knife at each of them, in turn, Castiel says "Neither of you, goes anywhere alone again... Not in my camp. You will always be guarded. Let's go, see what fresh hell awaits us... thanks to your lies" Castiel turns to look down at his dead friend, pain shooting through his heart at the sight of Balthazar's pale lifeless features "Help me carry him," Says Castiel to no one in particular. 

"Sir, we need to return to camp quickly..." Mick said to Castiel 

"We're not leaving him here. He is my friend and I will not have some creatures..." Castiel shook his head "We take him back and bury him, properly" 

"Yes, sir"

***

Crowley was stood, frozen... Tears prickling his eyes as he watched Dean break down... Balthazar had been laid down in the grass, next to three other bodies. Castiel and the others had walked into camp and spotted Dean knelt beside Jimmy's body... 

"Just hold on, okay" Dean's tears ran down his face "You are the best friend I've ever had Jimmy"

Castiel felt like everything inside him, that made him who he was had dropped away... The ice building up in him as he looked around and saw death and pain everywhere was all that remained... His hand gripped his blade again... Eyes flashing at Crowley... Jimmy was dead... His brother, he'd never get the chance to get to know him... He'd never get the chance to make up what he'd done to him... Castiel lunged at Crowley.

Stopped only by Mick at the last second "No, we need him. Let him be a doctor, first" Mick dragged Castiel away from the scene.

Crowley turned to Meg, who shook her head at him. Before walking after Castiel and Mick. She wasn't happy with him either, no one was... He hadn't helped anyone... He watched as Benny and Ketch walked up to Dean... shock was written all over there faces as they looked down at their friend on the ground. 

Crowley's watching, unable to move, he is shaking slightly, so ok... People had died in the base and people had died here... But, Jimmy... That was different. Jimmy was like his son, his boy... He swallowed against the pain building up his throat. Eyes flickering closed and sending tears rolling thick and fast down his face... 

"James... My boy" He choked out bitterly, looking up to the heavens "I'm so sorry"  


	4. Bring On The Rain

"Mick, would you find Jo? Garth? and... Bela" Castiel asked "Make sure they are alright for me? Please..."

Mick nodded and left. 

"You aren't going to do something stupid? Are you?" Meg asked Castiel as they walked away from Crowley, away from Dean and... Jimmy.

"Define stupid"

"Hurting yourself... Or hurting Crowley. Don't get me wrong, he has been a jerk and I wouldn't mind taking a chunk out of him myself, but he really is a good doctor and he really wouldn't have intended for this to happen." 

"He is a good doctor" Echoed Castiel "A good doctor who is responsible for... how many deaths now?" 

Meg stayed quiet for a moment, before reaching out and touching Castiel's arm, he flinched away from her, instinct taking over, the only person who'd really touched him was Naomi... and it hadn't been pleasant.

"I'm sorry," She says retracting her arm quickly "I just wanted... to say I am sorry - about Balthazar, I know he was your friend"  

Castiel looked up at Meg, he ~~wanted~~ meant, to say thank you... But then he met her eyes and his anger with her for lying about Gabriel flared again "Why did you come back? I was told you were looking after Charlie and the others..." He replied coolly. 

"They're much better now... We, er... Well, Maddison had a lot of... damage. She was in the worst condition, shes much better now, so I decided to come and see if I could help anyone here, I knew there was a fight going on and when Mick came back to the bunker to get Balthazar and Bela, I knew things must have been... almost, if not completely over" 

Castiel nods sadly "They were... Almost over. The fighting. But now I don't know, people will need someone to blame... I don't know that all the Free Folk are going to believe that there is a machine man wondering around... And what if he comes back?" 

"You need to speak to Crowley about that..." Said Meg Sadly "Castiel, I... I am sorry, about Gabriel" 

Meeting her eyes once more Castiel said: "You should be, you told me he was gone..." Castiel shook his head "You knew the truth and you said nothing" 

***

When finally Castiel had calmed enough to talk to Crowley, he'd listened to how Gabriel had been 'created' - brain dead and living with the support of a machine, Crowley had begun his modifications, using Dean's technology he had developed a computer chip to be a 'brain' for Gabriel. The chip had been programmed with tactical intelligence and a mission to kill the free folk and protect Crowley... His plan had been to add the profiles of every person who'd lived or was living, in the base, so that Gabriel would know to protect them too... But Gabriel had only been programmed to protect himself and Meg, before escaping... The chip which had been embedded in what was left of his own brain, had sent sparks through the brain matter and brought some function back to it. Sadly, this didn't seem to include Gabriel's memories. 

"He was now breathing on his own, he opened his eyes, he showed... fear" Crowley explained how he'd then injected Gabriel with X-Cel serum again to see if it helped heal his brain now that it was active... "He was stronger than I knew and his need to... do his 'job' was stronger than I knew, he tricked me... Knocking me out in a way that wouldn't leave permanent damage he escaped..."

"Where did he get the bomb?" 

"I made them," 

"Why?"

"Forgive me, but I didn't know there was going to be a peace... I made them when the base and the Free Folk were at war" 

"If his job, was to protect you, why would he leave you?" 

Crowley turned to look at Meg, "For her, he will be looking for her, she'd left and his job is to protect us both..." 

"And the base people?" 

"He used the first two bombs, at the base... Clearly perceiving the people there as threats..." Crowley swallowed and looked down "To me"  

"You son of a bitch" He swung his fist out with no warning, it slamming painfully into Crowley's face. Crowley stumbled back slightly as Castiel continued to rage at him "All those people, everyone at the base... wiped out, gone... Because of you" 

"I know" Crowley offered no excuse, no reasoning, he just looked sad and defeated, clutching his face where there would likely be a bruise soon "I know"

Castiel glared at him, hating that he wasn't trying to defend himself, hating that he couldn't scream and shout and hit him some more, because... Crowley knew he had fucked up, he was feeling it, he'd lost people too and now he'd have to live with the guilt of those deaths, he'd have to live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of his life. 

"Get out of my sight and make yourself fucking useful... go help someone" Demanded Castiel wanting the man away from him. 

***

Left alone, Castiel sunk down onto his knees, through blurred eyes he stared into his outstretched hands before him. Palms open and facing skyward. Utter despair swimming through his veins like a snake. Reaching every ending, every nerve. He blinked slowly, feeling numb and not really whole... Like he was there, but he wasn't at the same time, physically he could feel his knees in the damp earth by Balthazar's grave, mentally he was back in the base, running through hundreds of conversations he'd had with his two friends in his head, both of whom, were now lost... 

The rains had started. The timing was... as Meg put it ' _Really fucking lucky_ ' as it had helped to stop the fires. Crowley and Meg were now busy helping the wounded, guarded as they set them up in one of the remaining large huts to be treated.

Castiel looked about him, no one was watching him... Everyone was busy, everyone had something to do... What was his job? He didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to help... Naomi was gone, Balthazar was gone, Jimmy was gone... Gabriel... Would be back. 

Gabriel had a mission, protect Crowley and Meg... And with them both now being here... It stood to reason that Gabriel would come back... 

Castiel saw Mick helping Jo, her arm was slightly burnt and he was bandaging it up. At least Jo was safe, he thought to himself, he knew Mick liked her, he knew he would protect her... She wouldn't miss him. No one would if he left for a while... An idea had crossed his mind and taken hold. He rose to his feet, walking slowly toward the horses keep, to find Knight. 

***

Dean's face burned with tears and he sniffed in harshly as he patted down the freshly disturbed ground. Fifteen graves. Three burnt-out huts, including the royal hut, one dead horse and many, many people burnt as they had rushed to put out the fires. People were crying, fights broke out in the confusion, free folk blaming the base group... Families that had recently lost alphas too, were talking about leaving... It was chaos. 

And through it all, Dean hadn't been able to get rid of the image of those dead blue eyes looking up at him... He wiped a dirty hand across his face, smearing tears into his skin. Turning his head, he noticed Castiel a little way away. He was looking about him, in a way that told Dean - he did not want to be followed... 

So, Dean followed him. 

***

Precipitation. Humidity ninety percent. Wind speed 6 miles per hour. Visibility low. Partially cloudy. Fifteen degrees. Energy levels low. Mission; hunt, kill, protect. 

Gabriel walked slowly through the dark forest away from the burning, away from the screams. Scanning through the trees - for her. 

***

Castiel almost jumps out of his skin as a voice from behind him startles him 

"Your brother died... You didn't even go to his grave" Said Dean staring at Castiel "And now... you're what... running away?" 

"What would you care if that's what I was doing?" He Shrugged

Dean stared at him "People are counting on you" 

"I can't do this" Castiel gestured wildly about him "I can't 'lead' people... I don't know how to be a fucking 'King' - it's ridiculous... Every time I try to do the right thing... Someone ends up getting hurt, I can't do anything right..." 

"But..." Dean breathed out a heavy sigh "You try" 

"People are dying, Dean" Snapped Castiel turning to look at Dean "They are dying because of choices I made"

"Choices Crowley made" 

"Crowley... Wouldn't have needed weapons or Gabriel... Had I not married Naomi... So much of this roots back to things I did. Choices I made..."

"Choices you made with the best intentions. The right choices in regards to the information we had at the time... I am pissed at you, for leaving me, but I do understand why you did... That doesn't mean I have to like it though. It's the choices you make now that will matter Cas, the choices you make now that people are watching, you run away from this, hide your head in the fucking dirt... That's when people will blame you. But if you stay and fight... Even if we lose, they'll know you tried"

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway, I'm not running away..." Said Castiel, he wasn't about to admit it had crossed his mind though "I'm going to the base..."

"Why?" Dean cut in sounding annoyed "It's not safe there, Crowley said so... Plus there will be a heck of a lot of dead people there Cas..."

"Exactly - If I come face to face with this new Gabriel... I need to have seen what he has done. Balthazar... the base... I need to see it or I won't be able to do anything to hurt him... He was my friend. Plus I want to see the damage for myself. See what survived - supply wise. Winter is almost upon us and I have no idea how to make sure everyone survives it... I was thinking..."

"What?"

"Well, maybe some food or medical equipment survived... If the base is... stable, we could move the camp in there over the cold months" Castiel grimaces "Providing of course that Gabriel doesn't kill us all first. And maybe we all get in... and Gabriel is out here... We lock him out"

"Oh... That's actually not a bad idea" Dean sounded thoughtful, less of his usual coolness towards Cas in his tone and Castiel had to fight the desire to cling to it and stay with Dean, he needed to see if his plan was possible. 

"Thank you. Well, I am going to go now..." 

"Not on your own" Said Dean in question, as though the idea was ludicrous "Not with Gabriel running around out there" 

"Then, by all means, come along," Said Castiel 


	5. I Hate You (But I Love You)

Dean stared at Castiel, a battle going on in his head, part of him wanted to stay angry, wanted to hold Castiel accountable for his choice in leaving Dean. But another part of him heard Jimmy saying over and over ' _You know what you want_ '. And another voice, way down deep saying ' _You can't lose Cas too'._  With Gabriel on the loose and a possible target on Castiel's back, Dean came to a decision within a minute. 

"Ok" He nodded "I'm in" 

Castiel was slightly surprised, he'd expected Dean to say no. He tried not to let it show on his face as Dean approached him. Searching his brain for something... anything to say, he patted his horse and said "This is Knight" 

Dean patted the horse's neck, hand close but not touching Castiel's and then he stepped back and cupped his hands together holding them out in front of him to Castiel, who blinked at him. 

"Just do it," He said frowning and looking away as Castiel lifted up his leg and put his foot in Dean's cupped hands. His robotic leg rising and going over the saddle on Knights back. 

Castiel took hold of the reigns and turned to Dean "Thank you,"

Dean nodded, not meeting his eye fully "Which horse should I?" 

"I remember Mick saying that the others weren't as well ridden... Maybe try the grey one? Seems calmer than the others" Suggested Castiel and he watched as Dean clumsily fitted a saddle on the grey horse before climbing up and getting into position next to Castiel.

"You told anyone you're leaving?" Asked Dean looking at Castiel 

"No, I wasn't... I wasn't sure they would let me leave if I gave them the opportunity to stop me. Even with Naomi gone, things are..."

"Fucked up" Said Dean finishing his sentence for him "Alright, well let's go" 

"You're not going to tell your people?" 

"I would, but a part of me thinks you wouldn't be here when I got back" 

Castiel stayed silent, he didn't want to reassure Dean he'd stay, because if Dean didn't trust him anyway, his words wouldn't matter... Together they set out toward the base, the light sprinkle of rain wetting their skin through their clothes. 

*** 

Most of the journey passed in an uncomfortable silence, partly because of the tension between the two of them and partly because they both were on alert for any signs of Gabriel. When they reach the base, they are both sodden, rain trickling down their faces and droplets falling from their hair. They bring the horses into the sheltered space behind the first door, which was wide open... A reminder of what they could expect to find when they entered the base... 

The first thing they noticed... Was the smell. The smell of smoke. Castiel looked at Dean, who nodded. They entered the base together. 

"I want to go to my old room," Said Dean realizing that he could grab a change of clothes, something dry... 

"Ok, do you want me to come with you or?" 

"Probably best if you do, I mean... We don't know what we're going to find in there or if my room is even still accessible" 

"Alright" So Castiel followed Dean through the grey metal door. The hallways were littered with debris and rumble as they entered the base. A few corridors in and the smell of burnt wood and death filled the air. Most lights had blown, but some that ran from different pipes and cables still flickered. The red alarm light still flashing uselessly against the wall made Castiel shiver slightly. He kept glancing at Dean, seeing the same unease on his face as he was sure was on his own. 

Dean stopped suddenly and Castiel bumped into the back of him "Sorry, I... oh" His eyes had traveled past Dean to further down the corridor... 

Two women slumped against the wall, the first bodies they'd come across, as they got closer, it became clear it was the toxic air that had killed them, the blood from their eyes, nose, ears, and mouth was dry and flaky on their skin now... 

Castiel looked sideways at Dean, "Did, did you know them?" 

Dean was still staring at the women "Not well, but I pretty much knew everyone in the base, even if not by name..."

"I'm sorry," Said Castiel wanting to reach out... comfort, but not being sure that Dean would want it, he remained still "We can come back, bring everyone - give these people proper burials" 

Dean didn't respond, he just passed the two woman on the floor, noticing how they were griping on to each, they had died... holding on to each other. He felt a twist in his gut, Sam had died, alone... 

They passed a few more bodies on the way to Dean's room, the bodies had only been there a day or so, so the smell wasn't too much, yet, even if it did make Dean feel slightly sick, but he could tell if they weren't moved soon... It would be a nightmare. He wished they could start clearing out the dead now, but there were hundreds of people in the base at the time of Gabriel's attack, they wouldn't be able to move everyone themselves.  

When they reached Dean's old room, having had to use torches down the last few corridors as the lights in that section were all blown, Dean turned to Castiel "Just... give me a minute" 

Castiel nodded and leaned by the wall outside the door as Dean opened it and walked into his old living quarters... 

His breath caught in his throat, it was just as he and Sam had left it, the morning they had left the base. 

Sam's bed was neatly made, but a thin layer of dust had settled on the sheets. Dean leaned against the wall looking at it, remembering how his brother snored lightly sometimes. He'd found it irritating at the time, sometimes throwing a balled up sock in Sam's face to wake him up. Now, however... He found himself thinking that there really wasn't much he wouldn't do in order to hear it again. 

His fingers slid over the edge of the mattress, his brother was really gone, none of what he'd done had brought him back. None of what he'd done had filled the hole in his heart where Sam used to live. He didn't notice his heart rate pick up slightly, or his breathing quicken... It was the splat of a tear on his hand that made him realize he was crying. Sam was gone and he wasn't coming back. 

Dean's eyes continue to water as he stares, without really looking around the room... Shadows of Sam, haunt every inch of this space. He pulls his wet shirt off and grabs a clean one from his own draw, clutching it tightly in his hands as another tear escapes his eyes and rolls down his face... Then pulling the shirt over his head.

"I'm sorry Sam, it's my fault... I should have been there" 

"It's not your fault, Dean" Castiel's voice on the other side of the door makes Dean turn to look at the door, he hears a small knock... but can't bring himself to answer, his voice doesn't seem to be working right now... As his eyes flood with pain and his heart aches. The door opens slowly and there is Castiel, looking at him timidly "It's not your fault. What happened" 

Dean swallowed and glared at Castiel turning his back on him and wiping his eyes furiously.  

"I know you... Well, you may not believe me. But... I do love you, Dean... I have for a long time. I only didn't say it before we got out because I didn't want to, to... I believed we'd get out, but I didn't believe it enough to tie you to me with words. I wanted you to be able to move on if we didn't get to the surface,  I didn't want to risk saying I love you, only to lose you... But I lost you anyway, without having said it... And that was worse. Knowing how I had had the chance, so many chances to tell you and I hadn't and then, you were gone and I didn't know if I'd ever get the opportunity again" Castiel was stood in the doorway, halfway between being in and out of the room, his own eyes watery "In case I never get the opportunity again, I want to tell you now..." He stepped into the room "I am, _so_ sorry to have left you after Sam... after... I am so sorry I couldn't be there for you, I would change so many things if I could go back and do it again... I would have told you a long time ago how I felt about you... How you were the only person on the other side of that godforsaken piece of glass that made me feel human, made me feel real... And not like some science project... How I was so grateful to have you in my life... How I wanted to hold on to you, forever..."

Dean was staring at the wall, he hadn't moved a muscle during Castiel's speech, listening to each and every word with rapt attention, he took short shaking breaths "You abandoned me" 

"I know..." Castiel lowered his gaze "I am so, so sorry Dean... But, I'm here now" 

Dean shrugs "Don't need you now"  

Castiel tilts his head "Really? If you don't want me here, I'll leave... But if, if you need someone... to talk to about Sam, about... Jimmy... If you need to shout, scream, lash out... cry. Anything. I _am_ here for you now" 

Light twinkles on the tears in Dean's eyes as he turns to face Castiel and he closes his eyes as he shakes his head sending them falling down his face, but... he doesn't tell Castiel to leave. He rolls his head back on his neck, resting it against the wall behind him. 

"I thought... You hated me" Said Castiel looking at Dean, he took a step forward "But, you don't, do you?" 

Dean's breathing quickened at the feel of the wall behind his back, his eyes widened at Castiel's words... "I do... I hate you" He said feeling something close to panic as Castiel took another step closer, "Don't come near me, Castiel" 

Castiel smiled sadly "No, no you don't - you love me. Despite everything I've done" He said taking one last step to close the distance between them. 

He pressed himself against Dean, crashing their mouths together, biting gently on Dean's lip until he was pushed roughly away.  

"I hate you," Said Dean, his face wild, eyes watering "You hear me? I hate you Castiel" Dean's fist rises and connects with the side of Castiel's face. And Castiel wants it, he wants whatever this cloud is between them, gone. If Dean needs to get his anger out on him, Castiel would let him. 

"I think, you blame me because you were with me when it happened," He said getting his balance back and stepping forward.

Dean's heart is screaming at him, pounding wildly like a drum in his chest, his eyes pinpoint focused on Castiel's approach. He shakes his head and glares at Castiel, as he closes the gap between them purposefully, fuelled with all his rage and grief, he grips both sides of Castiel's head and forces their mouths together.

Whatever this was, heaven or hell, Castiel wanted it. 

Lips part and their tongues connect in raw battle, as Dean walks Castiel backward and forces him against a wall, slamming his head back with very little care of how rough he is being. His anger, his lust, being melted into one emotion. Their mouths break apart and Dean gasps in a sharp breath as he feels Castiel's nails digging into his back, his own hands drop from Castiel's face and force there way past Castiel's waistband and into his underwear, gripping his hardening erection as his mouth opens over Cas' neck and he bites him roughly...Castiel's choked out moan letting loose a desire he had battled to rid himself of with no success... He pulled his hands from Castiel's pants, bringing one arm up as he stepped back and holding a hand roughly across Castiel's neck. Castiel looked at him startled for a moment before clenching his jaw.

"I hate you," He says firmly "But I want you" Hand still holding Castiel's throat Dean surged forward again, his tongue sliding easily over Castiel's, tasting. 

Dean was rutting his hip, crotch rubbing against crotch... He gripped on to the cloth shirt Castiel was wearing and pulled down on it with a mighty force that had the material ripping, stray buttons flying across the room and scattering on the floor... Dean attacked Castiel's neck once again, teeth biting, and tongue tip tasting lightly as he broke the skin. Castiel growled low at the pain. Dean forces the tatters of material down Castiel's arms, both men are painfully hard now, both are panting, their hot breath's mingling as Dean brings his face to Castiel's, nose to nose, Dean stares into Castiel's eyes.

"I hate you," He says again, his eyebrows cocking slightly, his teeth gritting "But I can't seem to live without you" Then with no warning, he shoves Castiel to the side, he stumbles and lands on the bed and Dean wastes no time in climbing over him and pinning his arms down under his knees, with Castiel pinned down Dean puts most of his weight on Cas's arms as he lifts his own top over his head and throws it away... He releases Castiel's arms, moving down his body so he is sat on Castiel's crotch, he can feel his thick cock pressing against his ass, he pushes down on it, rubbing his ass over it forcibly, Castiel groans beneath him. Dean lowers himself into a position where he is leaning over Castiel, his nails digging into the bare skin on Castiel's side, scratching at him, as he sucks a deep punishing mark into his neck, making Castiel groan again.

"Dean..." Castiel manages to gasp out

"Shut up," Says Dean leaning back to pull Cas' pants down past his cock, Dean looks at it a moment before looking back into Castiel's face. He sees the fire there, the hope, the fear... He sees Castiel, the man he met behind the glass, the man who always put everyone else first, the man he loved... "I hate you..." It comes out softer this time, and as a hand wraps around Castiel's cock and begins stroking him he says "But fuck, if I don't love you to death too" 


	6. Hide and Seek

Dean's hand is warm and tight around his cock, Cas' mouth hung open, chest rising and falling with each pant, his eyes are clouded and unfocussed - completely lust drunk. And at Dean's words... he groans.

"Ah... fuck Dean" His head drops back as he lets the feeling wash over him, Dean still loves him... Ok - things are far from perfect but Dean's hand wrapped around his dick is a sure sign they can work on things. His insides squirm with need and nerves. He wants to be closer to Dean, he wants to burrow into Dean's neck and breath him in, to be safe in his arms and never let go "Dean..." He groans out again 

Dean still jerking his cock, his eyes are dark and hungry "Cas, I... I want to..." 

"Yes" Castiel knows what Dean wants, he wants it "Yes"  

Dean takes his hands off Castiel, to pull his own pants down, he doesn't bother to take them off completely, as though if he wasted that time, he'd miss his chance to have Cas. He looks down and pulls Castiel on to his side, then moving out of his way so he can roll over completely on to his front, he tugs his pants roughly, his eyes are wild as he grips his own throbbing cock with one hand and spits on it, his other hand goes to Castiel's neck, pushing down on it and relishing in the tiny gasp that escapes Castiel. Castiel moves his real leg, giving Dean more space and Dean barely hesitates as he lowers himself onto Castiel and pushes his cock in.

It's an explosive mix of pleasure and pain... Castiel is gritting his teeth, it hurts, but as Dean begins to move it starts to feel good... really fucking good... It's not a steady rhyme - Dean's in, draws back and slam in again, with sporadic hip rolls deepening his thrusts. His hand still gripping on to Castiel's neck as he plows into him, and Castiel pushes past the pain and focusses on the pleasure as it begins to take over, he'll be sore, he'll feel this for days and he is glad, he wants it, wants to know that he and Dean did this for real, it wasn't a dream, Dean still loves him, Dean fucked him. 

Castiel is making all kinds of dirty sounds as Dean fucks into him, nails denting into his side now as Dean's hand holds his hip down... Castiel feels hot and cold all at the same time, his whole body is trembling, every nerve lit with intense gratification - he was with Dean, Dean's inside him, bending over him and biting down on his shoulder, breathing hotly against his skin, Dean... It is all, Dean. Dean loves him. 

"I... Dean... ugh... I'm close" Castiel gasps out.

"Come... Come for me, Cas" Dean moaned roughly into his neck "Cas" 

Castiel's stomach tightened as he jerked forward, coming hard and fast. Far more powerfully than he'd ever felt before. 

Dean follows, only moments later, coming hot and thick inside him, marking him deeply inside. Castiel's shoulder and ass ache, but he feels so satisfied, happy, he is with Dean, things will be alright now, they are finally, together. 

"Fuck" Dean pants barely able to hold himself up, arms feeling numb now "Fuck..." 

Dean lets his softening cock fall out of Castiel, his chest is still rising and falling rapidly as he tries to regain control of his breath. His forehead is sweaty against Castiel's back, he rises up and backs up off the bed... He pulls his pants up, fastening them and turns to meet Castiel eyes.

"That what you wanted?" Says Dean breathlessly, with a ghost of a smile on his lips

"I wanted you" Castiel is looking at him wide-eyed and hopeful "Want" 

"This wasn't exactly how I pictured our first time..." Dean says, stopping short of apologizing for his roughness "I guess things are going to be complicated for a while, huh?" He adds with a small smile before walking out of their room to the bathroom and leaving Castiel breathless and bruised on the bed, covered in come. He returns a moment later with a damp cloth and chucks it to Castiel.

"Thanks," Says Castiel catching the cloth "How did you picture it?" 

Dean shakes his head "Of all the things we need to talk about - sexual fantasies are pretty fucking low on the list, Cas" 

"Fair enough, what do you want to talk about?" Asks Castiel wiping himself down.

"Fuck, where do we even start..." Dean scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as he sat on the end of the bed next to Castiel, the sex had seemed relatively easy, he'd wanted it for so long, wanted Cas... But actually talking about 'feelings', this was something Dean tried to avoid at all costs... Especially considering all his feelings at the moment made him want to curl up and die... Thinking of Sam... Jimmy, Balthazar...  All the people at the base who'd died... It was a shit ton of fucked up and actually having to talk about it was kinda scary "Tell me about being in the camp?"

Castiel looked down "Nothing good happened there..." He said quietly "Nothing good happened after we parted"  

Dean sighed heavily "You were right, by the way... I was angry with myself for being with you when Sam, when it happened... But then when you left... I couldn't get my head around it... I'd been with you and then you left me... I felt like at least if you'd stayed..."

"It would have excused you leaving him?" Asked Castiel sounding apologetic "Sam was a grown man Dean" 

"He was still my little brother, still my responsibility"  

"No one could have predicted what happened, we didn't even know there were other people outside the base. It wasn't your fault. And the thing you don't understand Dean is that though we were apart... My days started with you, ended with you and everything in between was you... You were the one thing that gave me hope, just to see you again... You were the 'happy thought' I would hide myself in when I was scared, the dream I would cling to when I felt helpless... You saved me, you weren't even there and yet your blade saved me, the memory of your face... Kept me warm on nights I spent locked in cold cages... I know you think I left you, but you were with me, every day" 

"Guess we both have shit to be sorry for, I... I left you too"

"I understood Dean, I can't imagine how you..."

"But you were in trouble Cas, I shouldn't have..."  

"Being away from you, not knowing where you were or if you were ok... It felt like... My heartache would kill me" Said Castiel reaching out to Dean and squeezing his hand "But, I think in my mind, I was glad you weren't there too... Seeing some of the shit they did to us, to each other..."

"What did she do to you Cas?" Asked Dean meeting his eye...  

Castiel paled, he'd tried to block Naomi from his thoughts, he pulled his pants back up and was fastening them, about to answer Dean, with no real plan of what to say, when the loud slamming of a metal door sounded somewhere far away in the base, the sound bouncing off the walls and reverberating around the halls... 

Castiel looked at Dean, to find Dean looking back, the same expression on his face. Fear. 

"Crowley said everyone died here, right?" Said Dean quietly, he pulled the rest of his clothes on quickly and then reached for his bag, which contained his gun. Castiel nodded, following Dean's lead and getting dressed hurriedly. 

They didn't know who was there but it seemed to pass unspoken between both of them, not to shout out. They dressed and gathered their belongings. 

"What should we do?" Asked Castiel looking at Dean with wide eyes, Dean shook his head putting a finger to his lips. 

"Shh," He opened his room door, one hand against the door so it didn't open to loudly and with his head against the frame he peered out into the dark hallway beyond "I can't see anyone, let's move quietly, see if we can see who it is" He whispered

Castiel nodded, following as Dean slipped through the door, he was glad that they weren't going to wait in the small room, he wanted an exit if it turned out to be someone unfriendly. They moved slowly and carefully along the darkened corridor, Dean keeping his flashlight pointing directly down to the ground in front of their feet so they wouldn't trip on anything. 

Castiel could just make out Dean's silhouette in front of him, as they turned a corner, Dean froze. Castiel coming to halt just behind him, at the opposite end of the corridor, where there was more light, they could make out the shadowy outline of another man. A man wearing a cloak around him, the hood pulled up over his head. 

The man knelt down, touched a body on the ground and stood back up, as he rose, the hood fell down... And the shaved, scarred head beneath the hood was revealed... 

"Gabriel" Muttered Castiel under his breath. The man at the end of the corridor turned his head sharply in their direction... He stared at them and they stared back, hearts frozen with fear in their chests... 

Gabriel's body seemed to turn in slow motion...

"We need to go" Said Dean, although he didn't move, they both stood, seemingly paralyzed with fear as Gabriel took his first step in their direction. 

Castiel's hand moved, gripping Dean's arm "Dean..." He said, voice full of fear and uncertainty. 

Gabriel was walking toward them, even from down the long corridor, they could tell his pace was increasing... Steps becoming longer strides, face totally blank, emotionless... Falling into shadow as he moved into the darker part of the passage. 

Dean and Castiel, recoiled, stepping back, Castiel's hand on Dean's arm tighten... "Dean," He said again "He, he's... coming" sounding more urgent now, his heart beating wildly as the man who used to be his friend approached. Dean swallowed, seeming to wake up... 

"Run," He said not bothering to whisper now and he turned to push Castiel back "RUN" 

And Castiel ran, like a child from the boogie man, he ran. His robotic leg supporting him but clattering terrifyingly loudly on the metal floor. He ran until his throat burnt, he ran until his eyes watered, the sound of Dean just behind him, until... He stopped and turned around... And Dean... was gone.  

Eyes wide with panic, he whispered into the darkness, "Dean?" Turning this way and that, he couldn't see him, he couldn't hear him. He'd never been in this part of the base before... He didn't know how to get out, then shaking slightly his eyes spotted movement, a shadow around the corner, he recognized the outline of Gabriel... 

He looked about him, seeing a vent against the wall, he hurried over to it and pulled off the wired cover as carefully as he could before climbing into the small space beyond... Moving back so that his face was shadowed, he waited, quietly praying his racing heart wouldn't give him away... 

Every tiny noise seems so loud. His breathing, the beat of his heart in his chest, the echoing sounds of footsteps on metal. Where ever Gabriel was, he was getting closer. Castiel couldn't see very far down the corridor from his hiding place in the vent...

Suddenly, a sound that Castiel will remember until the day he dies fills him with dread... the heavy thud of something large hitting the floor... A second later, the sound of metal colliding with metal, and then... crunching, teeth chewing... 

Castiel is silent, shaking, sweating, unblinking, heart pounding, lips quivering... As Gabriel passes by the front of the vent, mouth dripping blood and holding a human arm up to his lips... 

'Click' The panel on Castiel's leg opens... And Castiel is suddenly staring into the dead set, gruesomely scarred and blood smeared face of Gabriel, whose blackened and bloodshot eyes meet his own instantly... 


	7. Monstrous And Free

"Run," He said not bothering to whisper now and he turned to push Castiel back "RUN" 

And Castiel ran, Dean right behind him, Dean could easily have overtaken him, the X-cel serum had made him faster and as good as Castiel's false leg was, it slowed him down... Dean followed Castiel for a while, but he could hear that Gabriel was catching up, he was gaining on them easily, Dean had to make a choice... Run as fast as he could and escape - leaving Castiel to the mercy of the machine monster or...

He slowed, and as Castiel reached a junction in the corridor and ran left, Dean watched him out of sight, sending a silent prayer that seeing Castiel running away from him, wouldn't be the last time he saw him, then he turned right... Stopping at the end of the corridor and pulling his ax and gun from his bag... Breathing heavily, he tapped the ax against the wall, tap, tap, tap... 

"Come and get me, you son of a bitch" He ground out, grip firm on his weapons, teeth clenched, forehead sweat-damp with nerves, heart racing. The sound of footsteps growing louder. 

*** 

"Did you hear that?" Said Benny looking at Ketch, Ketch nodded. 

"Dean," Said Ketch eyes scanning the dark corridor before them "We should split up if we have both Meg and Crowley together and Gabriel finds us... It's over." 

Crowley and Meg looked at each other. The noise of footsteps echoed from further within the base. 

"Meg, you'll come with me. Crowley, you go with Benny" Said Ketch checking his gun over before moving next to Meg, "Be careful, move quietly. Let's find Dean and get out." 

"And whoever he is with," Said Meg quickly, "It's likely it's Castiel - we couldn't find him at the camp"

"I need to get my notes from my lab... If there is anything left" Said Crowley looking at Benny "Everything I have on Gabriel, everything I did to him... His strengths, weaknesses"

"Let's go," Said Benny nodding at Crowley "We'll go for the lab, you look for Dean" 

***

The vent door is ripped from its hinges before Castiel even has a chance to process that he has been found. He is gripped by the throat and lifted easily from the vent and slammed against the wall, Gabriel pinning him against it and attempting to squeeze the life out of him. Castiel chokes and makes a harsh gagging sound, trying with one hand to hold on to Gabriel's hand and pry his fingers from his neck, whilst trying to reach the blade in his leg with his other hand. But Gabriel is squeezing his throat closed, he is panicking as he tries to gasps in some air, he feels his lungs start to burn, his eyes water. He can feel the crushing pressure of Gabriel's fingers on his neck. He is seeing spots, his hearing and vision clouding, he is going to pass out... He is going to die. His friend, Gabriel... is going to kill him, like he killed Balthazar like he probably killed Dean... 

Gabriel sees the man's face turning darker and darker red under his grasp, he sees his eyes roll back into his head as he passes out... Then just as he is about to end him... He hears a female voice shouting "Gabriel stop" 

Gabriel's head turned slowly, perfectly straight and the pressure on Castiel's neck eased up as his grip loosened slightly, he scanned the corridor, eyes falling on Meg and seeming to narrow to focus on her face. 

"Gabriel," She says again, more gently stepping toward him. Ketch grabs her arm roughly, trying to stop her. Gabriel seeing this releases Castiel who slides limply down the wall to the ground. Gabriel turns toward Meg and Ketch. 

"Let me go," Whispers Meg, desperately "If he thinks you're hurting me, he'll kill you" 

"What are you doing?" Hissed Ketch looking at Gabriel but directing his hushed whisper toward Meg

Meg turned to meet his eyes her expression sad "What I have to, I will go with Gabriel... You will help Castiel and the others" 

Ketch let go of Meg's arm, looking uncertain and unhappy, but unable to come up with another idea, he nods. 

Gabriel is moving toward Meg, walking in long steady strides, eyes pinpoint focussed on her. 

As his mouth opens, blood dribbles down his face slightly, his voice comes out rough and he sprays a little blood as he speaks, a single word, barely recognizable as Gabriel's voice, "Protect"

He walks quickly, right up to where Meg is standing, picks her up as though she weighs nothing and hauls her over his shoulder, then he takes another few steps coming face to face with Ketch, who is flattened back against the wall. He leans in, his face mere centimeters from Ketch's his eyes red and his skin pale, his eyes flick between each of Ketch's like he is trying to decide whether or not to kill him. 

Ketch swallows, his heart racing as he forces himself to look down at the ground in submission, thinking over and over in his head, 'live today, fight tomorrow'. He just hopes that Meg has an actual plan here, something that can buy them some time to work out how to stop Gabriel.  

Gabriel's narrowed eyes stay on his face for a few more tense moments, before he throws his head back and mouth wide and makes a terrifying screeching roaring sound, spraying specks of blood on to Ketch's face as he screams at him. Then, without warning, he turns and runs down the corridor, Meg still over his shoulder.

Ketch breaths, feeling his whole body relax and his heart that had tried to break free from his chest in fear and shock, begin to calm slightly. Looking around him as though checking he was actually still alive, still here... he pulls his senses back to him and turns to hurry to Castiel's aid. 


	8. A Pound Of Flesh

The footsteps stop. In the almost eerie silence, Dean can only hear the steady thrumming of his heart. He hopes Cas kept running and got out. He hopes he doesn't try and come back for him. He tilts his head, straining to hear something, anything... He swallows narrowing his eyes, he can't hear anything now and somehow, that's worse, he knows Gabriel is nearby, his footsteps had been drawing closer... But now, in the dark, quiet... He begins to doubt. What if he'd been imagining it? What if Gabriel had gone on and after Castiel? He takes a step forward holding his gun out in front of him and his ax at his side. He walks with slow, quiet steps, fear prickling up his neck. Making the hairs there stand on end. He reaches the end of the corridor coming to a standstill where it splits from the way that he and Castiel had run from, to where he'd last seen Castiel disappearing. He steps out, into the opening of the junction, looking left, he has a second of thankfulness that he can't see Castiel, he must have got out. 

Before he even has a chance to turn to look right an arm is lashing out at him from the shadows, pale and thin fingers wrap around his gun and pull it roughly from his grasp. He tries to pull his ax up, meaning to take a swing but the butt of his own gun comes swiftly through the air and cracks him on the side of the face. With a heavy thud, he crumples to the floor... His vision fuzzing like a thick layer of dust had settled over his eyes. He feels his ax pulled free from his hold, closing his eyes he accepts it, the end...  he is about to die... 

_'As long as Castiel got away'_ He thinks to himself  _'Then it'll be worth it'_

A second later, he hears the sound of metal colliding with metal, a white-hot pain in his arm forcing him to gasp in an awful silent scream and then... there is nothing. Only blackness, swallowing him. 

***

Ketch runs to Castiel's side and drops down next to him, feeling along his neck for damage. He can feel a pulse, holding his hand under Castiel's nose, he can feel his breath on his fingers. He turns him into a more comfortable position and stands up, wondering what to do. He sees the angel blade Castiel had dropped on the floor and stares at it, his mind taking him back to when he'd first heard Dean's plan to hide a weapon in the man's false leg. 

"Dean," He mutters looking about him suddenly. He bends down and grips Castiel by the shoulders of his jacket and drags him along the corridor. Walking backward he keeps checking over his shoulder that he isn't going to bump into anything. But something on the ground makes him freeze. He turns, still holding on to Castiel's jacket tightly and stares in shock at the bloody severed arm on the ground, clear bite marks in the skin sending unpleasant shivers through him. 

"Alright, enough." Ketch says to Castiel laying him down carefully "You need to wake up, now!" He shakes him slightly, repeating that he needs to wake up, but it's only when he slaps him roughly across the face that Castiel's eyes open. 

"What the hell..." 

"We need to hurry up, in case Gabriel comes back," He says making no apologies for hitting Castiel but offering his hand to him, Castiel grips his hand and is pulled to his feet. 

"Meg?" He says looking around "Dean?" Ketch shakes his head. 

"Gabriel took Meg, we need to find Dean" 

Castiel nods, his hands coming up to feel the soreness around his neck. So, that was how Balthazar had died, looking into the eyes of his old friend as the light behind them had been snuffed out...  

The next bend they round in the corridor reveals... Dean, pale and bloody on the ground. His arm cut clean off from just under the elbow, a pool of blood around it. 

"Jesus" Castiel mutters as he drops down by Dean's side, lifting his arm up and squeezing around the wound to try and stop the blood that was spurting from the wound, he looks up with worried eyes at Ketch. 

Footsteps at the other end of the corridor make him and Ketch look round sharply, fearing that Gabriel had returned they were both on their feet instantly. 

Ketch relaxes when he sees Crowley and Benny walking towards them, Castiel, however, glares at Crowley before turning back to Dean. He touches Dean's face gently, before moving to look at his arm. 

“Don’t touch him,” Said Crowley moving forward quickly and picking up Dean’s severed arm to look at it more closely. 

“He’ll bleed out,” Said Castiel angrily “You expect me to trust you? After what you’ve done to Gabriel?”

“I am a scientist,” Said Crowley sincerely “I have made mistakes, I am not denying that… But I have only ever tried to protect the people of this base. I came back here to try and figure out a way to stop Gabriel.”

“You turned my friend into a monster,” Castiel glared at him, “Why the hell should we listen to you?”

“Because if you try to seal this wound… If you try to cauterize it… His arm won’t grow back” The others stared at Crowley, shocked. "Wrap your belt around the end and keep his arm elevated" Said Crowley to Ketch, who obeyed and began pulling his belt free from his pants as Benny held up Dean's arm. 

“Arm’s don’t just ‘grow back’. What are you talking about?” Castiel watched, his own hands shaking and red with Dean's blood. 

“The serum I gave Dean, to make him stronger, see better, heal quicker…” Crowley sighs “It’s composed of a variety of animals DNAs… DNA strands from the eyes of a hawk, for sight improvement, strands from the eardrums of a rat to improve hearing, DNA from the Pronghorn Antelope for stamina… and amongst the others Cockroach DNA for healing… and salamander DNA… for regeneration. A salamander can regrow a limb in under five months.”

Castiel looked down at Dean’s pale face, “He could really grow his arm back?” He asked still not sure if he believed it could be possible.

“It’s not something I tested… I wasn’t going to deliberately cut off Dean’s arm, despite what you might think, I am not a monster.”

“No, you just make them”

“Dean’s deserves to be given the chance to heal. He replaced your leg, are you really going to deny him the chance to replace his arm, just because of your feelings toward me? Don’t make Dean suffer just because you don't me, don't the mistake of thinking you are the only person here who cares about him”

"Don't pretend you care about anyone but yourself" Snapped Castiel stepping into Crowley's space.

Crowley narrows his eyes at him "All I have ever tried to do... Was protect the people of this base. I care, a lot."  

"Then how do we help him?" Asked Benny, cutting in before Castiel could speak. 

"We move him somewhere safe, keep his arm raised, find something to null the pain and wait for him to wake up." 

Castiel didn't look happy about following Crowley's plan, but with Meg gone they didn't have any other options. So he nodded and helped them carry Dean to a nearby room “So, if you ate part of an animal,” Says Castiel to Crowley thinking back to the Vow to the Capo… “You could inherit its strengths?”

“No,” Says Crowley bluntly “What you had to do in that camp was disgusting, not to mention dangerous.  _This_  is science”


End file.
